So, Am I Moving to New York?

No.

Oh, you want more?

Ok, so, I loved New York. It was an amazing trip, it was terrific to see Melissa and Ben and to have a break from the daily grind of flyover county. The apartment was nice sized for the area, although my bedroom would have been so small I couldn't have taken any of my stuff with me, including my bed, or my shoes. Or my underwear- anyway I expected that, and that wasn't the reason, at least not entirely. I am an only child, and having lived on my own for a while (albeit with a roommate but in very large apartments) I think it would be a very hard transition to sacrifice so much personal area. I didn't think I would be happy because I would be uncomfortable in my home, something that I'm not sure I could handle and know I haven't enjoyedin the past. I can do it, but it makes me want to peel off my own skin. And all those things they say about New York are true too. It's dirty and loud and crowded and smelly and fast. And fabulous, of course. I feel at home in the city, with the fast-pace and the direct people, not rude just busy. It's the way I operate, and it's not exactly popular in the Kingdom of the Passive-Aggressive. When I'm talking to people, thats when I want to live there most. It's the most alive city I've ever been in, but it's a desperate, screaming type of life that can take a bit to adjust to. The truth is, I think New York is a miserable place to live if you don't have money, and I wouldn't have any, not a job, not the prospect of a job. I know that I said before that it didn't matter, but it's one thing to say it siting comfortably at your desk in Minnesota and another to be confronted with the day in and day out reality of living sans paycheck in one of the most expensive cities in the world. It could be done, but why would I be doing it? I suppose to say I could. Well, now I know I can; the question is, do I want to ?

I have to admit that returning to Minneapolis was like putting on an old, comfortable coat, but one that makes you look good and never goes out of style. I had an amazing first night in New York, but I woke up the next morning feeling strangely ill at ease. Part of it was a hang over, part of it was the knock-down drag out fight I was having with my dad, but most of it was homesickness. There was something refreshing about coming home last night, rolling the windows in the car down, driving along the freeway and seeing the sky, wide and open. You don't get that wide open space in New York, unless you go to Coney Island, or the Hamptons. Which is fine, but I think it's in my blood, that need for space, for being able to see for miles. I have run from Kansas, and some how it keeps pulling me back, if only spacially.

So I won't be moving to New York, at least not now. How could I, when Minneapolis and St. Paul are entering the height of haute cuisine and hipster trendiness? If Brooklyn's the new Manhattan, can Minneapolis really be that far off?

Probably, but for now it remains home, and for now that's entirely fine.