(This was an old chestnut I found from last year when I was cleaning out my computer files. Enjoy!)
What exactly does the first class lavatory have to do with the war on terror? The flight attendent states “in the interest of safety, please remember that the front cabin lavatory is for first class passengers only”. What is the threat from the coach cabin that is so scary we must be warned from venturing ahead? Is Osama Bin Ladin hanging out in there, kidnapping passengers that foolishly attempt to move ahead of their station in life. To me it is the class system at work. I belong in that lavatory. I sure as hell do not belong back here in coach, being kicked in the kidneys by the most adorable hell spawn who’s father is to concerned with the other rugrat currently occupying his lap. What is it about an airplane that makes parents oblivious to the goings-on of their offspring? Do they reach a point at which they just decide they can’t take it anymore and disavow knowledge of the fruit of their loins for the duration of the trip?
kick kick kick.
I am a bitch, I suppose, but I want nothing more than to turn to this incompetent father and say, if you’re kid keeps kicking my seat, I’m going to start kicking back. But I am the single young woman, wearing the smart ass political t-shirt and typing on my white laptop. I have no crediblity in the eyes of Papa Clueless behind me. I don’t know what it’s like to have kids, so I can’t possibly understand the trauma of having to silence little Mephistopheles or Haggis. Who am I to crush the creative spirit out of their child?
I’ll tell you who I am. I’m the woman that won’t be bring her child on board a plane without a muzzle and a bottle of bourbon. The muzzle for the kid, of course, the bottle of bourbon for those around me in case the muzzle proves inadequate. I don’t have a child yet, of course, but I am certain that once I do, I will be the best mother ever. Ever. And this includes keeping them from kicking seats in planes.
kick kick kick.
I know a lot of articles have been written about kids kicking chairs on planes, but to me this only indicates our failure as a society to eradicate said behavior. It has to stop, and it will begin with me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I told the host at the Macaroni Grill (which is one of THE premier restaurants in Rochester...sad) that I would like a different table after he tried to seat Mike and I between 2 tables that had toddlers at them (on a Friday night). The host had the nerve to refuse and then ask why. So I had explain that I didn't want to sit by a bunch of kids. Now, I realize this may seem a little harsh - but this is the first date that Mike and I have been on in...I can't remember when. So the host had to get "special" permission to seat us in another area. Where, 10 minutes later, retard host seats a family with a toddler NEXT TO US! I beg the questions:
Why does society feel the need to share their bundles of joy with strangers at nice restaurants on Friday nights? Where are the parenting skills of our society?? Why are PARENTS no longer expected to have any common social curtesy in regards to their offspring?
Post a Comment