I Hate Other People's Kids Too! (In response to Tai)

I will respond piece by piece, because there is much here I wish to discuss:

Tai said...
I told the host at the Macaroni Grill (which is one of THE premier restaurants in Rochester...sad) that I would like a different table after he tried to seat Mike and I between 2 tables that had toddlers at them (on a Friday night). The host had the nerve to refuse and then ask why.

Ok, so this has happened to me at many a restaurant, and I don't get it. I mean, I get it, but i don't get it get it. The potential reasons that a host would have an issue with reseating you is many-fold, but the primary reasons are these:

1. He is a pimply-faced adolescent that isn't being paid to care. He's barely being paid to exist in the present tense.

2. He doesn't want to get hassled by the servers. As anyone who has waited tables or hosted can tell you, life can become a real pain in the ass real quick if you double or triple seat a section. The servers are swamped, they're asking you to run food, they are pissed because they are doing twice the work with half the tips because they can't give as good a service as they would like, and the diners are unhappy because their food is cold, or rushed, or wrong. So, the host is looking to make his life as easy as possible, and rotating sections in a very orderly manner is what the lazy host perceives to be the easiest route to this. When you ask to move sections, you are fucking up his rotation, as they say in the movies.

The fact that he had to get "special permission" is ri-fucking-diculous. My response to this situation would have been "not my problem sunshine, I'm either sitting over there, or I'm sitting at another restaurant. Take your pick."

So I had explain that I didn't want to sit by a bunch of kids. Now, I realize this may seem a little harsh - but this is the first date that Mike and I have been on in...I can't remember when.

I don't think this sounds harsh at all. In fact, we as a nation should be harsher in our non-child centered demands.

Where, 10 minutes later, retard host seats a family with a toddler NEXT TO US!

That was just out of spite.

I beg the questions:
Why does society feel the need to share their bundles of joy with strangers at nice restaurants on Friday nights? Where are the parenting skills of our society?? Why are PARENTS no longer expected to have any common social curtesy in regards to their offspring

I don't know the answers to these questions, Tai. They make no sense to me. The only thought I have is that these people can't afford to pay a babysitter, and so they bring their kids with them. If that is the case, they I don't really think they can afford to have kids in the first place. I think the parents of these hellions are so shellshocked and clueless that they maybe don't even notice anymore. Of course, it could just be that they really enjoy their kids, and if that is the case, then I shudder...

I would really like to know what you all think about why parents are so shitty these days, because as much as I dislike children in the main, I realize that it is not their fault they are obnoxious, it's their parents fault. Every so often you encounter a truly pleasant child that makes you rethink the whole thing, but generally, they are the devil spaun of the idiots lining the bottom of the food chain. The worst is when these backwards yokels shrug, as if to say, "that's kids!" To that I reply, no, "that's YOUR kids. Kids aren't born being assholes, and if I had acted like your little satan-monkeys, I would not currently be in possesion of the ample booty you see before you because it would have been SPANKED RIGHT OFF OF ME."

Personally, i think it was the rise of the "parents-as-friends" ridiculousness. Memo to all these idiots: your kids do not want you to be their friend. They want you to drive them to the mall, pay for some nachos, and disappear. If you try to become friends with them, they will never leave you. Why would you leave friends that feed, clothe, house and remind you on a daily basis that your shit literally smells like roses.? I know I as sure as hell wouldn't. Unless you want your child to end up like Captain Creepy, living with his parents at 40 and working at Radio Shack, then stop with the friendship. When adults are friends with kids that they aren't related to, our natural urge is to call the cops. I say that is a good urge. We should go with it.

And I encourage you all to read I Hate Other People's Kids. It's a great book.